What a Troublemaker
Walking down the field I noticed Carlos the Cow had jumped a temporary electric fence into a thickly wooded
area, carpeted with tall nettles and burdocks. No sweat, I would just lay a section of the fence on the ground and walk him out over it. The rest of the herd was at the other end of the field
chomping away, so they weren’t any concern. The whole process would take about 2 minutes. Perfect.
I get him walking out of the woods, he’s 5 feet from where I need him to be when he pulls a u-turn and bolts
into the thickest part of the brush, running like a 1200 lb. toddler on speed. So now I’m in 4 x 4 mode, chasing him around and I keep tripping over fallen branches and getting a gagillion
scratches everywhere. My legs are on fire with the nettle stings and I was covered in burrs. Sweat was dripping off my nose and I had to pee. Good times. And it was only 7:30 a.m.
I lost it. I screamed a word that rhymes with ‘buck’ no less than three times at the very top of my lungs,
louder than even my Mom voice. I hear a gasp. I turn to see the kids standing at the gate nearby, their jaws on the ground. “Wow Mom, you’re really mad.” Yup. Bless their hearts.
Then I hear hooves, lots of them and they were getting louder. I turn and see the whole herd stampeding
towards me. In a flash I grab some nearby branches and wave my arms in a crazy frenzy to stop them, which worked, thankfully. I quickly put the fence back up, but now I was screwed. I couldn’t
get Carlos out without letting them in.
New plan. I walk down the field, open a gate to a new pasture and the herd
flies through it. Phew, they are dealt with and I am safe. I turn to make the trek back only to find Carlos right behind me. He was just casually strolling along to hook up with his buddies once
again. I kid you not as he walked by me, our eyes met, he had a mouthful of grass and that exact moment he started pooing as he gave me a “Well that was fun” look. I had to smile. I love my life
but wow, sometimes it’s a real trip. As for Carlos, he’ll be tasty eats someday but for now, what a troublemaker.